More Monsters of the Yard...GOSH!

This is not for the faint of heart! If you have a weak stomach...proceed no further! Perhaps I am just over reacting, but then again...no, because I feel sick to my stomach now!

Cade and I spent the entire day outside. Him playing in the pool and me tanning in my lawn chair. I finally laid him down for a nap a little before two. I went back outside and fell asleep on my lawn chair on my stomach...so now I have the oddest tan lines on my arm because my head was laying on it! But that's not the bad part!

Duke, my sister-in-law Tara's dog, stayed outside with us most of the day. Tara is out of town for a wedding in Virginia...So I am on dog sitting detail. After Cade woke up, I went inside and we both showered. I put a diaper on him and remembered Duke was still outside. So we both went outside so that I could let Duke in his house.

I let Duke in his house which is right next door to mine....not very far at all! I came walking back towards my house in just enough time to see Cade start to put his fingers in his mouth...but there was something dark, kinda a purplish color on his fingers. I grabbed his hand before his fingers could make their way into his mouth! Upon further inspection I noticed that this same substance was also on his face, splattered about in various places, his forehead and nose, as well as on his chest and his other hand. I was looking at him and wondering what he got a hold of. So thinking out loud, I said "a berry"...This of course made me nervous because there are berries on many trees around my house, we even have raspberries growing. So my first concern was what kind of berry it was, I know some are not for human consumption. So of course I start looking around the area where we were. One of my patio chairs was right next to him. I saw a large round something sitting on the chair. What ever it was had burst and I could see the same color inside this "berry". But it was an odd color on the outside, a grayish color, it was so large it looked like a big blueberry or perhaps a small grape.

My first thought was that it was perhaps decaying and that would explain the odd color. I was still holding Cade's arm by his wrist, so I picked up this berry thing and told him lets go and proceeded towards my door. I was heading inside to clean him up and throw the berry away. I looked down at the berry to figure out what it was and more importantly where it possibly could have come from. As I turned my hand to get a look around the berry, my stomach jumped into my throat!

Realization struck...I looked down at Cade and said, "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW....Cade....oh Cade....ewwwwwwwwwwww" as I hopped up and down. It wasn't berry juice spattered about...it was blood! That "berry" was no berry at all, it wasn't even a species of plant...it was the largest, most bloated tick I have ever seen in my life! I didn't even know they could get that large! I flinged my hand out in order to toss the little blood sucker away from me....it made me even more sick when it stuck to my thumb. My knees were coming up high one after the other, kinda like I was running in place, as I hopped around shaking my hand in order to GET IT OFF OF ME, saying ewwww the whole time! I call it the "hibby jibby" dance, the stationary version of course! I did the hibby jibby dance that day with the snake...but that wasn't the stationary version, that was the fight or flight version, of course in that case I chose flight! LOL!!!

As soon as the tick finally flung off, I grabbed Cade and went running inside! The whole way trying to control my stomach, as the thought of him picking up that tick and obviously squeezing it so hard that it burst ran through my head. My head was literally spinning! I washed him up with antibacterial soap, nearly in tears.

The funny thing is that, he found my reaction funny. So the whole way he was saying, "ewwwww" and laughing and trying to hop like me.

I went outside with a napkin to retrieve the little monster so that we didn't have a repeat of the little blood bath. I was thinking, maybe I saw it wrong, that couldn't have been a tick. That was way too big to be a tick...So I glanced at it again after picking it up with a napkin...Nope IT WAS A TICK ALRIGHT!

I am still disturbed! I have this thing with ticks. We live in a wooded area, so it's not uncommon to find them on the dogs. But I always have Tara remove them because my biggest fear is trying to take one off the dogs and having it burst....So that is why this disgusts me so very badly! Because one burst and Cade almost....I'm not even going to say it...

I just don't think my stomach can ever recover from this! I don't think I will ever eat again in my life! It reminded me of a story that my Mema and Papaw told me that involved my Dad (when he was little) and a frog...and two bricks...I don't know which is worse...

The things kids get into! I just don't see how in the world he could have found that stupid tick in the yard! Granted it was rather large, but that's almost like finding a needle in a haystack! So Gross! Being a single mom is great! I should probably just name my blog...Adventures of a Single Mom...Cause I would not have retrieved that tick if I didn't have to! I would have sent a man to do it! LOL! I am a girl, I am a wimp, and I have no problems admitting that!

Monsters of the Yard

I just had the most traumatic event of my summer...SO FAR! Do you hear the "duhn duhn duhn" music of doom playing in the background? The summer has only just begun, I am sure this will happen again and I don't know if I can handle it again! I can only handle so much!

I was out working in the yard this evening, clearing out the flower bed that has been neglected and over grown. It's actually quite relaxing to do yard work, I would have never thought that, but it is...I mean once you get past the blisters and pulling tiny thorns out of your hands, from the thorny vines that you accidentally grab...yeah I should really wear those heavy duty garden gloves I bought and have sitting in my house...but that's another topic all together!

But to be out in the yard using tools, and giving your body a little work out, cause I'm feeling muscles that I have never felt before...and I am feeling them now cause they are sore! But to be working, especially on a perfect summer evening, the weather just right, the sweet smell of honeysuckle drifting about in the breeze...it is quite relaxing...and it's just you, your thoughts, the yard....and then of course the crazy 19 month old boy running around like a wild man...it is just so very calm...

But then, out of no where, this extremely relaxing event, turned into something of a nightmare! You see, I was working away, lost in my thoughts...my 12 year old nephew, Caleb, playing with the baby...well trying to show him how to use the tricycle that he keeps fighting with! There is this little Red Rider tricycle, one that used to belong to one of the other kids, it's red of course, with brown rust in various places, giving it's age away. Cade gets quite angry with this little tricycle and a fight between him and the tricycle breaks out...sometimes it's hard to tell who wins...Cade leaves scraped up and bruised and mad as hell...they don't speak to each other for a night or two...and then they're at it again! It's a never ending cycle! One of them should really break it off! The whole "it's you, not me," speech would work well! Or perhaps couples counseling...I just don't know...

Well today, in spite of trying to show him how to use it, Cade again became angry with this poor little tricycle...and a fight ensued! So I dropped my garden rake and walked over to the domestic dispute...I refereed and once I felt like the situation had diffused enough, I returned to my garden rake...that's when it happened!

Hold on I must compose myself...the very thought is causing me great distress!

Ok...I think I can continue with my frightening tale....

I had just picked up my garden rake and was about to continue my efforts, when to my left I saw the most disturbing image ever...it was a snake! A SNAKE! DUHN, DUHN, DUHN...That's right, a snake, I can only imagine the gasping sound now coming from your shocked and frightened body, what you must be thinking...I know you can't imagine it...the terror of it all! As soon as I saw this snake, slithering, it took me a second to process what was happening...I mean it was so utterly horrifying that I was in disbelief! I froze in terror while my brain tried to process what was taking place...And then I suddenly dropped the rake and turned, half hopping, half running in the opposite direction...Screams of terror were rushing out of mouth...how could this be happening to me...you always think such things will never happen to you...I cleared half a football field in a time that would put any olympic athlete to shame...jumping, running, and screaming the whole way...I would leap in the air and clear distances unimaginable. As my feet met the ground below me, I would run a few steps, covering record breaking lengths. And again I would leap, followed by running...my knees high with each step...a blood curdling scream escaping me uncontrollably...the memory is forever burned into my head!

When I was far enough away to feel safe, I turned to face the flower bed that only minutes before had been my peaceful oasis...How big was this snake you ask? Are you ready for this? You aren't going to believe it...six inches at best, definitely no where near a foot long...I know, I know...Can you believe I survived the encounter? It was terrifying...I think natural instinct is what kept me alive, my body defied gravity to get away...it was a miracle I escaped! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now when I reached my safe spot, I laughed out loud at myself, at the things my body just did in my efforts to get away from this monstrous creature...Caleb and Cade stared wildly at me, wondering I am sure if I had just lost my mind...What's wrong was all Caleb asked me...A snake, there was a snake over there, was my reply...I then asked him to go see if it was still there...he walked over to investigate, but the creature escaped! There is a snake on the loose in my yard, I don't know if I will ever be able to walk through it again!

Now let me mention that when I saw this snake, he was scurrying, and scurrying is really the only word that I can use to describe this snake! He was scurrying as fast as his limbless body would take him, a wiggling motion that seemed wild and a little out of control...but he was in a hurry to get away from where I was about to rake...

So I have to wonder who was more scared...me of this titan sized monster in a hurry to get away....or the poor tiny snake of me, a gigantic human with a not so snake friendly tool about to destroy the only place he has called home since he hatched...I think when I walked over to play mediator with Cade and the tricycle, he made his break and ran for his life...I just happened to walk back over and catch him in the act...

I don't know that I will ever find the same peace in yard work ever again! The rest of the evening I was very jumpy, hopping at the slightest touch of a leaf against my leg or foot...

Beware...they're back