I just had the most traumatic event of my summer...SO FAR! Do you hear the "duhn duhn duhn" music of doom playing in the background? The summer has only just begun, I am sure this will happen again and I don't know if I can handle it again! I can only handle so much!
I was out working in the yard this evening, clearing out the flower bed that has been neglected and over grown. It's actually quite relaxing to do yard work, I would have never thought that, but it is...I mean once you get past the blisters and pulling tiny thorns out of your hands, from the thorny vines that you accidentally grab...yeah I should really wear those heavy duty garden gloves I bought and have sitting in my house...but that's another topic all together!
But to be out in the yard using tools, and giving your body a little work out, cause I'm feeling muscles that I have never felt before...and I am feeling them now cause they are sore! But to be working, especially on a perfect summer evening, the weather just right, the sweet smell of honeysuckle drifting about in the breeze...it is quite relaxing...and it's just you, your thoughts, the yard....and then of course the crazy 19 month old boy running around like a wild man...it is just so very calm...
But then, out of no where, this extremely relaxing event, turned into something of a nightmare! You see, I was working away, lost in my thoughts...my 12 year old nephew, Caleb, playing with the baby...well trying to show him how to use the tricycle that he keeps fighting with! There is this little Red Rider tricycle, one that used to belong to one of the other kids, it's red of course, with brown rust in various places, giving it's age away. Cade gets quite angry with this little tricycle and a fight between him and the tricycle breaks out...sometimes it's hard to tell who wins...Cade leaves scraped up and bruised and mad as hell...they don't speak to each other for a night or two...and then they're at it again! It's a never ending cycle! One of them should really break it off! The whole "it's you, not me," speech would work well! Or perhaps couples counseling...I just don't know...
Well today, in spite of trying to show him how to use it, Cade again became angry with this poor little tricycle...and a fight ensued! So I dropped my garden rake and walked over to the domestic dispute...I refereed and once I felt like the situation had diffused enough, I returned to my garden rake...that's when it happened!
Hold on I must compose myself...the very thought is causing me great distress!
Ok...I think I can continue with my frightening tale....
I had just picked up my garden rake and was about to continue my efforts, when to my left I saw the most disturbing image ever...it was a snake! A SNAKE! DUHN, DUHN, DUHN...That's right, a snake, I can only imagine the gasping sound now coming from your shocked and frightened body, what you must be thinking...I know you can't imagine it...the terror of it all! As soon as I saw this snake, slithering, it took me a second to process what was happening...I mean it was so utterly horrifying that I was in disbelief! I froze in terror while my brain tried to process what was taking place...And then I suddenly dropped the rake and turned, half hopping, half running in the opposite direction...Screams of terror were rushing out of mouth...how could this be happening to me...you always think such things will never happen to you...I cleared half a football field in a time that would put any olympic athlete to shame...jumping, running, and screaming the whole way...I would leap in the air and clear distances unimaginable. As my feet met the ground below me, I would run a few steps, covering record breaking lengths. And again I would leap, followed by running...my knees high with each step...a blood curdling scream escaping me uncontrollably...the memory is forever burned into my head!
When I was far enough away to feel safe, I turned to face the flower bed that only minutes before had been my peaceful oasis...How big was this snake you ask? Are you ready for this? You aren't going to believe it...six inches at best, definitely no where near a foot long...I know, I know...Can you believe I survived the encounter? It was terrifying...I think natural instinct is what kept me alive, my body defied gravity to get away...it was a miracle I escaped! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now when I reached my safe spot, I laughed out loud at myself, at the things my body just did in my efforts to get away from this monstrous creature...Caleb and Cade stared wildly at me, wondering I am sure if I had just lost my mind...What's wrong was all Caleb asked me...A snake, there was a snake over there, was my reply...I then asked him to go see if it was still there...he walked over to investigate, but the creature escaped! There is a snake on the loose in my yard, I don't know if I will ever be able to walk through it again!
Now let me mention that when I saw this snake, he was scurrying, and scurrying is really the only word that I can use to describe this snake! He was scurrying as fast as his limbless body would take him, a wiggling motion that seemed wild and a little out of control...but he was in a hurry to get away from where I was about to rake...
So I have to wonder who was more scared...me of this titan sized monster in a hurry to get away....or the poor tiny snake of me, a gigantic human with a not so snake friendly tool about to destroy the only place he has called home since he hatched...I think when I walked over to play mediator with Cade and the tricycle, he made his break and ran for his life...I just happened to walk back over and catch him in the act...
I don't know that I will ever find the same peace in yard work ever again! The rest of the evening I was very jumpy, hopping at the slightest touch of a leaf against my leg or foot...
Beware...they're back
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
My story...the how and why of becoming a truly single mom!
At the ripe old age of 18 I gave birth to my first son, Kai. The day after my 27th birthday I unexpectedly gave birth to my second son, Cade. He wasn't actually due till November 27th. There are many reasons I finally decided to leave my husband of 11 years, but some of them had to do with things that happened after the birth of my second son.
We have been separated for well over a year and will be divorced by July of '09. I really didn't see being a single mom as a big deal. I always felt like a single mom with Kai because I did everything by myself. So it really didn't seem any different after my husband moved out.
My oldest son really started acting out a few months ago. He was doing things out of his character and he was very adamant about living with his dad. So in April of '09 I let him go. It was the toughest decision I have ever made in my life, but I made the decision so that perhaps things would become better for him in the long run. So my 11 year old son, who I had devoted my whole life to, moved over 10 hours away from me.
At first I was devastated and mourning his absence. Then I became aware of how my life had come to a sudden halt. I had spent years, (he was four when he started playing sports), running him all over town for soccer, baseball, lacrosse, birthday parties, and Boy Scouts. I had spent countless hours at practices and countless weekends at games. As he grew and started playing classic soccer the traveling increased. We were going two or more hours for games and sometimes spending the entire weekend in another state for tournaments. I became friends with the other parents and spent all those hours talking and socializing while he played and practiced.
I no longer had my social hour, as I called it, to talk and joke around with the other parents. I am a social butterfly! So imagine how it felt to realize that my life had come to a sudden halt and there was no one around anymore. The other parents had children and their own busy schedules, so I can't blame them for not keeping up with me after we disappeared from practices and games. But I had never felt lonelier in my life. Too much had happened all at once, too many changes, and humans don’t do well with that much change all at once. So of course I was feeling a bit depressed!
Then came another realization…oh gosh, I'm really - really a single mom! Challenges began presenting themselves that I had never even thought of! Its one thing to be a single mom, but it's another thing to be a single mom of a child that requires constant supervision! That's when the real fun begins! During Kai's younger years, I had a husband. While he wasn't always around, he was around enough that I never faced the challenges I do now. And even though my husband and I separated while Cade was still just a baby, well Kai was old enough that he could help. But then Kai left and it was just me and Cade.
Suddenly bringing in groceries was a serious task! I was faced with a dilemma, what do I do? Do I leave Cade strapped in the car while I unload the groceries, do I let him run around the yard, or do I leave him in the house...I didn't know! Anytime there were groceries before, I would grab a few bags and the baby and come inside. Kai would bring in the rest while I put them away.
So I have a new respect for the truly single mom! Yes being a single mom isn't easy. But if your kids are old enough to dress themselves and fix something to eat for themselves and can be left home alone...then it isn't as challenging as having a little one like Cade...or a special needs child, I have a friend whose son is about Kai's age but functions as a toddler.
So these blogs are my day to day struggles! Doing things for the first time that I have never ever had to do before. And for some reason, it always ends up like an I Love Lucy show, there seems to be mishaps all the time. But I see the humor in it. So these are my humorous mishaps! Do not take them for whining! I don’t whine and I will not whine about being a single mom! But I love to write and writing is what I have thrown myself into with all of my new found time.
I named my blog The Great White Adventures of a Single mom for a couple of reasons. First, I have always been fascinated by Great White Sharks! They are the only apex predator to not ever be tamed or kept in captivity for too long. I plan to one day dive with them...safely protected in a cage of course! I have to get my diving license first, but I am working on it. Second, there is not a lot known about Great Whites. They can't be kept in captivity for too long without dying and that's one of the main reasons for all the mystery.
I knew very little about being a single mom! I am learning as I go, as I face new challenges. So I view being a single mom as a mystery, as something that few people know little about, unless they have been there...but been there with a little one, not older children who can fend for themselves. Great Whites aren't a mystery to themselves, just to the rest of the world...I think the same goes for a single mom! You might think you know…but you have no idea!
We have been separated for well over a year and will be divorced by July of '09. I really didn't see being a single mom as a big deal. I always felt like a single mom with Kai because I did everything by myself. So it really didn't seem any different after my husband moved out.
My oldest son really started acting out a few months ago. He was doing things out of his character and he was very adamant about living with his dad. So in April of '09 I let him go. It was the toughest decision I have ever made in my life, but I made the decision so that perhaps things would become better for him in the long run. So my 11 year old son, who I had devoted my whole life to, moved over 10 hours away from me.
At first I was devastated and mourning his absence. Then I became aware of how my life had come to a sudden halt. I had spent years, (he was four when he started playing sports), running him all over town for soccer, baseball, lacrosse, birthday parties, and Boy Scouts. I had spent countless hours at practices and countless weekends at games. As he grew and started playing classic soccer the traveling increased. We were going two or more hours for games and sometimes spending the entire weekend in another state for tournaments. I became friends with the other parents and spent all those hours talking and socializing while he played and practiced.
I no longer had my social hour, as I called it, to talk and joke around with the other parents. I am a social butterfly! So imagine how it felt to realize that my life had come to a sudden halt and there was no one around anymore. The other parents had children and their own busy schedules, so I can't blame them for not keeping up with me after we disappeared from practices and games. But I had never felt lonelier in my life. Too much had happened all at once, too many changes, and humans don’t do well with that much change all at once. So of course I was feeling a bit depressed!
Then came another realization…oh gosh, I'm really - really a single mom! Challenges began presenting themselves that I had never even thought of! Its one thing to be a single mom, but it's another thing to be a single mom of a child that requires constant supervision! That's when the real fun begins! During Kai's younger years, I had a husband. While he wasn't always around, he was around enough that I never faced the challenges I do now. And even though my husband and I separated while Cade was still just a baby, well Kai was old enough that he could help. But then Kai left and it was just me and Cade.
Suddenly bringing in groceries was a serious task! I was faced with a dilemma, what do I do? Do I leave Cade strapped in the car while I unload the groceries, do I let him run around the yard, or do I leave him in the house...I didn't know! Anytime there were groceries before, I would grab a few bags and the baby and come inside. Kai would bring in the rest while I put them away.
So I have a new respect for the truly single mom! Yes being a single mom isn't easy. But if your kids are old enough to dress themselves and fix something to eat for themselves and can be left home alone...then it isn't as challenging as having a little one like Cade...or a special needs child, I have a friend whose son is about Kai's age but functions as a toddler.
So these blogs are my day to day struggles! Doing things for the first time that I have never ever had to do before. And for some reason, it always ends up like an I Love Lucy show, there seems to be mishaps all the time. But I see the humor in it. So these are my humorous mishaps! Do not take them for whining! I don’t whine and I will not whine about being a single mom! But I love to write and writing is what I have thrown myself into with all of my new found time.
I named my blog The Great White Adventures of a Single mom for a couple of reasons. First, I have always been fascinated by Great White Sharks! They are the only apex predator to not ever be tamed or kept in captivity for too long. I plan to one day dive with them...safely protected in a cage of course! I have to get my diving license first, but I am working on it. Second, there is not a lot known about Great Whites. They can't be kept in captivity for too long without dying and that's one of the main reasons for all the mystery.
I knew very little about being a single mom! I am learning as I go, as I face new challenges. So I view being a single mom as a mystery, as something that few people know little about, unless they have been there...but been there with a little one, not older children who can fend for themselves. Great Whites aren't a mystery to themselves, just to the rest of the world...I think the same goes for a single mom! You might think you know…but you have no idea!
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