"Your Life is an Occasion, Rise to it!" ~ Mr. Magorium
"We must face tomorrow, whatever it may hold, with determination, joy and bravery" ~ Mr. Magorium

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I have a can of hairspray & I know how to use it!

My baby left to go visit his dad and brother in Ohio. They left this last Friday. So I haven't blogged much...I should have blogged about the fishing we did the Thursday before my boys left! That was a hassle and a half!

So my house has been very quite! VERY QUITE! I've been kept busy though...last night I played a thrilling game of Phase 10...everyone kept getting way mad with me! LOL! I'd lay down and go out and everyone would still have their full hand! It was funny...My mother-in-law...what do I call her when me and my ex are officially divorced? It confuses people when I say mother-in-law and they're like, but I thought you weren't married, lol....I'm like I am legally married till my divorce is final in July...but we've been separated for so long I don't even count us as married anymore!

Anyway, my mother-in-law, Connie changed the name of the game to "Get Aunt Donna"....nice!

So yesterday, I was going to the grocery store...I was picking up one of my good friends, Jen...she's car-less till Friday. So I showered and everything was going good! I was clean! My hair was wet! So I broke out the hair dryer and blow dryed my hair.

Unbeknownst to me a wasp was lurking in my bathroom! And since this wasp had claimed my bathroom as his home, he was looking at me like I was crazy for coming in his house with all that noise! But he was too afraid of all that noise to do anything about it!

I finished up with the blower dryer and powered it off. Suddenly I noticed something black coming at me simultaneously in the mirror and from my peripheral vision. I wasn't sure if I should turn my head to look or continue to view this black flying thing in the mirror. I then realized it was a wasp and I moved to get out of his way. Only I wasn't in his way...I was his target! I have not been the target of a wasp attack ever...oh wait, I was stung by a nest of something when I was little, at my Mema and Papaw's house. I remember running down the slide of the swing set we had, it was a metal slide, and that loud noise sent them swarming! I was stung many, many times! Was that bees or wasps? Someone that was there will remind me!

So as soon as I realized I was his target my arms started flailing and I took off hopping and jumping my way through the house. That is the fight version of the fight or flight hibby jibby dance! I have discussed other versions in my other posts...There is the stationary hibby jibby dance, the flight version of the fight or flight hibby jibby dance and now the fight version! The fight version is when I am trying to get away from something while trying to fight and/or keep it off of me!

So the bouncing, hopping, running, and flailing of the arms was my effort to protect myself from a potential sting! They hurt!

I must mention that my ex had a horrible fear of wasps...he acted as if every single one that he ever saw was out to get him. If he ever saw one he would scream like a girl (ok not so much like a girl, but he still let out a crazy yelp) and take off running in his own version of a hibby jibby dance! I was the designated wasp killer of the house and I would always say, if you don't bother them, they won't bother you...I still stand by that statement...

I just didn't realize one had staked a claim in my bathroom and didn't take too kindly to me blow drying my hair! So I had bothered him without realizing it!

Once I felt sure that I had lost the wasp I looked around for my broom! I am always missing my broom because little Cade likes to take it places and leave it...I'm not sure where he left it...but I can't find it...and we are talking about a 5 foot tall broom!

He's good!

The broom is my weapon of choice when it comes to killing wasps. Well I was up the creek without a paddle! I walked back into my room and just to opening of the bathroom door. I peaked my head in, I saw no sign of my dive bombing wasp, so slowly I walked in! And he came after me again! I jumped back, keeping my eye on him! I wasn't going to let him shoot me, I mean sting me, in my back!

I was hoping my broom was in my bathroom. I didn't see it. What could I use to get him....I just didn't know! I scanned the counter for a deadly weapon...that's when I spotted it. Hairspray! I would "super hold" him in place! I grabbed the hair spray as he tried to dive bomb me yet again, this time he hit the mirror and fell to the sink! I started spraying! He never made another successful lift off! I doused him in hairspray!

But then I noticed that it seemed to be a most agonizing death...almost comparable to being burned alive! I then started to feel bad! He was throwing his body around and it was really horrible to watch! Mike, my brother-in-law told me later that I should have put him out of his misery! I couldn't, I didn't have my broom! Poor guy! I do feel bad! I mean I don't kill for the pleasure of watching something die! It was him or me! Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time! What have we learned from this? Don't mess with something 1000 times your size with a can of hairspray!

Man, that hairspray stuff is great! It's multi-functional!

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